[singing in shower] [simon cowell appears] “its a no from me”
(Source: vimyinwood)
i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job
what doesn’t kill u makes u stronger HAHAHAHA BULLSHIT
MY UTERUS IS EATING ME ALIVE
A COP JUST CAME TO MY HOUSE AND TOLD US WE NEEDED TO EVACUATE AND MY DAD WAS LIKE NO SO THE COP WAS JUST LIKE WHATEVER AND WALKED BACK TO HIS POLICE CAR AND AS WE WAS WALKING AWAY MY DAD WHISPERED “YOLO”
DAD I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS A HURRICANE WE CANT JUST SURVIVE WITH “OUR MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SWAG”
Ain’t no friendship like a friendship where you’re either confused as siblings or gay lovers
if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body
(Source: f-u-c-k-it-a-l-l)
(Source: makemestfu)
of all the dumb stuff i did when i was younger at least i can proudly say i was never a fan of annoying orange
